Willie Nelson , a true living legend of country music if ever there was one , once said , “ I like myself better when I’m writing regularly .” Now , right at this particular moment in time , there may not be that many ways for me to compare myself to so great a man! But then again , I don’t think there are too many people out there who can compare themselves to him in any way at all. He is , let us not forget , a voice unmistakable among millions , one of the trail-blazers of country’s “ outlaw “ movement , and of course , a writer whose words have touched the hearts and changed the lives of folk all over the world. So all things considered , he’s kinda tough to square up to!
And yet , believe it or not , there IS one way , small though it may be , but no less significant for being so , that I can proudly proclaim us to be practically two of a kind! In the very same way as Willie Nelson does , I also like myself a whole lot better when the pen is spending more time in my hand than out of it. To anyone who doesn’t write , maybe a statement like that doesn’t mean too much or even seem to make any sense. But it is , if you take a moment to think about it , almost a principle of self-awareness that can be extended to anybody with regard to whatever their passion in life may be.
I’m a writer. That’s my passion and my anchor of certainty in this life. When I’m writing is one of the times when I feel most alive , most deeply connected to the world in terms of what’s gone before me , all that’s still to come and where I fit into the whole scheme of things. When I write , I feel like I know what I’m a part of and that I’m doing exactly what I’m meant to be doing. Writing , I believe , lets me offer the truest expression of who I am. So when writing on a regular basis then , it’s only natural that I’m going to like myself more than when I’m not. To a certain degree , I suppose when I’m writing is also when I feel most at peace with myself , and in turn then , with the world around me. I think it’s the comfort of knowing you’re on the right road. The miles you have to cover , however rough the ride may get , or where exactly your final destination may be , don’t matter too much once you’re sure your compass has fixed on your own true north.
Now please don’t get me wrong , it’s not like this whole chasing your dreams thing is always as easy as waking up and away you go! I wish! Consider the thoughts of Gustave Flaubert , the creator of ‘ Madame Bovary ‘ ….., “ Sometimes , when I am empty , when words won’t come , when I find I haven’t written a single sentence after scribbling whole pages , I collapse on my couch and lie there dazed , bogged in a swamp of despair , hating myself and blaming myself….A quarter of an hour later , everything has changed ; my heart is pounding with joy! ”
I swear it’s never that dramatic with me , cross my heart : ) Well , maybe somedays I cut it pretty fine!
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Anyway , the point is that I’m certain this same sense of belonging and of a purpose-born peace is something experienced by anybody whose hours on Earth revolve around whatever their passion happen to be. And it could just as easily be teaching , dancing , cooking , farming , anything at all. As long as you love doing it , you’ll like yourself more , the more of it you do! And me and Willie , we’re on the same page when it comes to writing.
So now then , on to the writing of this , my second collection of lyrics and poetry. Well for one thing , it’s taken longer to get around to that I’d hoped , closing in on five years now. These things will however , take as long as they take. I began to realise and understand that while trying to put ‘ Under Star And Under Sun ’ together , and was reminded of it frequently over the past two or three years while working on this collection. In truth , I always knew there’d be at least two years between ‘ Under Star And Under Sun ’ becoming the first chapter of my published life and bringing this new harvest in from the fields. But that’s not to say I put my pen away for a couple of years and managed to somehow filter out all the possible titles and lines that swarm my mind on a typical day. No sir and no mam , that’s just not the way this writing thing seems to work. The writing process , in as much as I can speak for how it is with me anyway , is something that never stops.
Even during the course of putting together ‘ Under Star And Under Sun ’ , I was still writing away , stuff that I knew would have to wait until now ( but not knowing then , how far away now would be! ) before being presented to any audience other than my good self and a few trusted amigo’s who have fairly evenly balanced critically-constructive sides to them ( Jen , Ken and Case , that’d be you guys! ) . And with this collection too , there are pieces I’m still working on that I know will have to follow that same road and wait their turn , whenever it may eventually arrive. I’d love for many of them to have made it in here because I’m excited about what direction they’re taking , even just as works-in-progress. But the cold , hard truth of the matter however , is that because it can take so long to drive each idea over the finish line ,I simply wouldn’t have a hope of ever putting any kind of collection together if I was to wait for each one to finish it’s own race. So it becomes a relay of sorts ; some will get there in time to claim a place in this little collection , while others will still have a few more miles left to go.
And anyway , there’s nearly always part of another new song or poem awaiting my attention as soon as I finish anything else , so I could never have everything ready at the same time , as much as I’d love to. Those pieces still in the early stages of their creation then , will just have to miss out on this go-round.
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